there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
