dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i will never coherently bang her
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
