im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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