You kept calling me your small dog last night.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
