she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
