it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize