i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
