Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
