so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
