Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Sponge bath it is.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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