Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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