I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
only you would photoshop your dick
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
