are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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