just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
