I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
