i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
