Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Randomize
