It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
