Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
