I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
