There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
