Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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