I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
