Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
