So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
