I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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