No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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