Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
