You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
