areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Randomize
