"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
