I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
