Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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