I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
