It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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