Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
You're like the curious george of whores
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
