Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
