dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
