For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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