So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
