Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
