His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
