This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
