508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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