you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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