so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
