whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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