I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
