Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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