You really coming over, don't trick.
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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