A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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