oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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