my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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