so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
you traded sex for a burrito?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
