im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
You smell like stripper and shame
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
