I'm really into asian looking animals
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
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