4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
